if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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