dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
