we have pet lesbian snakes
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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