OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
