I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
