why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I need a beard to bite.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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