OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
