fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
