yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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