at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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