Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize