i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
