ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
