so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got inside last night via doggy door
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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