All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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