what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
