it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did I show you my penis last night?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
