She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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