I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
