That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
