You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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