I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
