Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
