Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
