Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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