This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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