you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
