gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
