there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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