As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
