Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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