...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We left an ass print on the piano.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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