when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
