On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
