He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She bit a glass in half.
ttyl tear gas
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
