there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
