I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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