p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
