I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
