You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
