We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
