Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
