Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love you. Go after that dick
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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