I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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