I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
