How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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