I have demons in me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
