guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
