...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
