I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
