Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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